Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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