If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
