How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
