I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I had to cum in my sink.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize