its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I got her a Nickelback box set.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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