So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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