Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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