found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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