I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
