3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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