oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize