And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
We named our party play list daddy issues
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
