Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
