I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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