My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
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