I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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