just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Randomize