I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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