I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
