Have you finally orgasmed yet?
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize