Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
She needs sedatives and a leash
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
