We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
