Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
