Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize