I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize