I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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