He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize