...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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