Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
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