fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I met the friendliest cop last night
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
