so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
