do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
