threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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