I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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