i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
