so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
