dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Randomize
