Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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