After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
