i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
try to milk me bitch
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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