She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
