I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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