So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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