We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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