i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
