The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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