I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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