Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
