Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
