Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
