oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I touched a dick in church today
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
