somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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