I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
