have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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