He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
