Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
